Does it seem presumptuous to title a blog this way? Perhaps it is….but I’d like to make the argument that I am not, in fact, being pompous in my nomenclature here.
It’s the fault of the Guac….
You see, every single person who has a guac recipe…..every one…..believes that theirs is the World’s Greatest Guac*. There’s an irrefutable law of human nature that mandates that when it comes to avocados (and more specifically, their use in the form of guac) we, as a species, are irresistibly compelled by an irrational need to establish an instinctive, primal dominance over all other’s use of the fruit. We truly believe that God himself was thinking of us when he crafted the first avocado and we genuinely feel that He is pleased when we endeavor to use them in increasingly creative ways.
I can recall, as a child, asking my mother what sort of food we would be eating in Heaven. She informed me that “Heaven will be totally different than here, and we won’t have the need for food in the same way that we do here……but there will still be avocados.”
And so….the choice to select a more moderate and gracious title for a guacamole post is simply not something that I am genetically capable of doing. Sorry….it’s not my fault.
*Whatever degree of truth the preceding theory may have, it is….in my opinion….escalated exponentially if the person in question happens to also be from Texas.
World’s Greatest Guac
With the above firmly established, it seems a bit implicit to state that there are an innumerable amount of options to choose from when attempting to make guac, but just in case you don’t know already……there are an innumerable amount of options to choose from when attempting to make guac. For my part, as is the case with most of my preferences, I like to keep things as simple as possible. Don’t mistake that to mean easy……quite the opposite; I believe that a person should endeavor to undertake every aspect of their life with a tremendous amount of intention and care. This philosophy is rarely described as “easy”, however….when done correctly and over time, the inevitable effect it has is that it elevates the virtues of simplicity and elegance to a position of primary importance.
The following is my personal take on a simple guac that’s bright, fresh and stands up to the best the interweb has to offer. I hope you enjoy it.
A Word on Selecting Avocados:
Guac is nothing without good avocados. I prefer to select ripe ones the day that I intend to use them. Otherwise, they tend to bruise and go bad before I have a chance to enjoy them. There are a couple ways to find a good avocado.
- It should be firm to the touch with just a little give when you squeeze. It’s kind of like squeezing a softball; it should give a bit under pressure but still seem to keep its shape. If permanent indentions are made by lightly squeezing then it’s either already going bad, or you’re just a sasquatch who doesn’t know his own strength.
- The stem test: If an avocado feels ripe to the touch, lightly flick the stem with your thumb. If it does not very easily come off, it’s not ripe. If it comes off easily and it’s green underneath, you’ve got yourself a keeper. And if it pops out and is brown underneath…..move along, there’s nothing to see there.
- 3 Large Avocados
- 1/2 a Red Onion, finely diced
- 1/4 cup cilantro, coarsely chopped
- 1 jalapeno*, seeded and diced (you can include the seeds if you prefer more heat)
- 1 tablespoon coarse sea salt (reduce by 1 tsp if using fine salt)
- Juice from 1 1/2 limes
- 1 teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
- Zero forms of garlic; Like none at all…not powder…not crushed….save that crap for making meatballs. (#meatballin’)
*A good jalapeno will be bright green but have lots of brown “cracks” on the outside; the more the better.
Halve, core and dice up the avocados and place in a bowl.
Add the remaining ingredients and mash it all up. You want it to be well combined but not so smooth that it looks like you made it in a blender.
Place in fridge to chill for half an hour before serving….or just dig right in.
Note: It’s not necessary to jump through any hoops to keep this guac from browning. The combination of lime and apple cider vinegar will keep it fresh for several hours on the table or in the fridge. And if your guac is still around for more than a few hours…..you’re doing it wrong.
It should be added here that one truly great use for guac is on burgers. Our family’s tradition of #sundaynightguacburgers, held every Sunday night during Daylight Savings time, is one of the highlights of summer for us and we document it religiously on Instagram. We’d love for you to join us sometime for a virtual burger, so get guacin’ and we’ll see you on Sunday!